Batista Bomb!

|:THE LIGHTS GO DIM AS BATISTA’S MUSIC HITS THE P.A. SYSTEM. THE CROWD GOES CRAZY AND BEGINS TO SCREAM AND boo AT HIM AS HE gaits DOWN TO THE RING. HE MARCHES UP THE STEEL STAIRS AND STEPS INTO THE RING. HE WALKS OVER AND GRABS A MIC FROM A CREW MEMBER. HE HUSHES THE CROWD AND BEGINS TO SPEAK:|

BATISTA: quiet, quiet, that’s quite enough. Now I know you all may not appreciate my being here tonight, but that doesn’t really matter to me. [boos from crowd] what does matter to me is that I’m finally back in the business. I’m glad to be back here, wrestling in such a great company. Now, I may not like the fans, but I do like the staff. They’ve been nice enough to give me a great match here tonight, where I can show off my true abilities. Hardcore wrestling is not something everyone can do, but I am a man with great hardcore assets. Every single superstar here will soon feel the wrath of ‘the monster’ known as batista! They’ll all know my name, and cower when it’s spoken. You see, I’m not only a colossal threat to any man who steps in that ring with me, but I’m a man who doesn’t play mind games. I get straight to business, and most superstars aren’t ready for that. People like triple h are all about mind games. People like sting are all about mind games. People like myself, and like raven, are people who like to get straight down to business. That’s why I know that raven chose a match that can live up to my standards. A match that will keep me on my toes. An inferno match! That’s right, an inferno match. This match will test all of my strengths, I’m sure. But there’s one thing this match won’t test. My ability. You see, I am an animal, a monster, and a simple inferno match won’t show what I’m capable of. Now, I will take out raven and the rock, that is for sure. The rock talks smack 24/7 without proving anything to anyone, and raven, although a man with a lot of talent, doesn’t show any rhyme or reason to his being here, with no passion for this business. So this match will just be a walk in the park for me. So, I feel it is my god-given right to receive a championship match. Actually, no. not just a championship.,., the hardcore championship! That is the only championship that will show my true abilities. A wrestler must have his guard up for all hours of the day, and that’s just the title for me. Ultimate warrior, you don’t deserve that title. You are scum, just like raven and the rock!

|:JUST THEN, J.R. STANDS UP AND GRABS A MIC, HAVING ENOUGH OF BATISTA’S RANT. HE ENTERS THE RING SLOWLY, SPEAKING THE ENTIRE TIME.:|

J.R.: Now You listen here, batista. You may think you can waltz right in to HwC and mock every one of our beloved superstars?

BATISTA: I wouldn’t exactly call them “beloved”, but-

J.R.: You can just shut your mouth right now, dave! I don’t much like your attitude here. I have respect for this company, and you should too. I’ve lived through many of these youngsters’ careers, and if you expect me to stand by and watch as you speak rubbish about their entire life’s goals, then you’re wrong. Now if you don’t stop this gibberish right now, I’ll

BATISTA: “You’ll” What?

J.R.: …

BATISTA: That’s exactly what I thought. Now, J.R., let me tell you something. I don’t much like your attitude towards me. I do have respect for this business, no doubt, and I respect most of the staff. But I don’t have to respect any one of the wrestlers until they prove it to me. Now, j.r., raven and the rock won’t have a chance this Monday, and at wrestlemania, if the warrior accepts my challenge, neither will he. Me and Orton have decided to do some singles competition, and prove our selves as overall world class wrestlers. Now, if you don’t mind, I have some women waiting for me in my locker room.

|:J.R. walks back to the announcers table, his tail tucked between his legs. Batista’s music hits, and he struts back to his locker room.:|